Mama, I want moo mikkk.
Mama, build dis for me.
Mama, I need to go potteeee!!
Mama, I need to go agaiinnn! Hurrryyy!
Mama, I want to cut with the scissors...No. I want the playdoh. No, the scissors.
Where's my juice? ...I want more juice! Please.
I want to watch sumfing.
I'm hungreeee! ...I'm really hungree! Hungree, mama! I want snack! Can I have a snack? More snacks, please. Mama, I'm hungreee....
Mama. I'm thirsteee...
Mamaaaaaaa!!!! Ehhhh!!!
Mama!! Mo mo mo mo mo!
Uhhuh! Appooo!
Mikkkkk mikk mikkkkk!
Nurse? nurseee!
I tend to let it get to me. Admittedly, some days are better. Some days I embrace every second of each request. I do what they ask, smile, and wait for the next one. But other days I struggle. I get irritated, loose my temper, or ask them to wait because I just want to get one chore done. Just one.
It's hard to find the balance of home and raising little ones. At least for me, I'm still trying to figure it out. And, on the days I struggle, I feel convicted, discouraged, and less motivated (Because being overwhelmed with all the non-completed to-do's does that to me.).
In times of discouragement I go to scriptures or the saints. This past Wednesday held a gem that was a swift kick in the bum for me.
"Rising very early before dawn,
he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.
Simon and those who were with him pursued him
and on finding him said, “Everyone is looking for you.”
He told them, “Let us go on to the nearby villages
that I may preach there also.
For this purpose have I come."
Mark 1: 35-38
As I rolled over Wednesday morning to read the Gospel readings, this is what struck me. I had just been awoken by my hungry toddler (I promise I feed him! He really is a bottomless pit!) and was feeling pretty exhausted from the night wake of my younger child who we're in the process of weaning. But I read and received my swift kick with as much grace as a zombie-mama could.
See, Jesus rose before dawn. Something I pray I can someday habitually do. Having never ever ever been a morning person, to see the dawn takes saint-like effort (I wish I was exaggerating. I'm really not.). But Jesus. Jesus did this. He did this because He knew it was good. To rise before the beckoning starts. He prioritized that time. He set it apart so that He could be with his Father in prayer. So He could be nourished and prepared for His day.
The next part just really gets me.
He didn't give Simon and those who were with Him the look when they pursued Him to tell Him that everyone was looking for Him. He didn't tell them to wait, loose His temper because He was irritated at their interruption. He listened, rose, and embraced His purpose.
My purpose. My vocation. The one I prayed for. The one that gives me joy that I will never be able to fully describe and the one that gives me the crazies, is the same one I want to rise for. It's the same one I want to embrace as He did. It's my present purpose.
Now, figuring out the balance is tough! It will take effort. Intention. Presence. Love and so much more.
But at the end of the day, He is the way. He shared himself with us so that we would know how to navigate our days. Our lives. Our journey back to Him. He shared everything that we would need. I'd be foolish to not try and exemplify His example!
Like I said, I struggle. This isn't one of those things that will take it's turn from one day to the next. But I will strive. I will try to err on the side of love through the words and actions that He has shown me. Little by little, He does reveal Himself to me in my motherhood. Thanks be to God.
Now, to just embrace this beautiful purpose He has shared with me more fully! Every day. One word at a time. One action at a time. Always striving to rise.
So tell me. How do y'all rise before the dawn? Does it come easy? Did it take effort? Is there hope for me?
Linking-up with the lovely Gina for Embrace the Ordinary.
So, so beautiful and true! The needs of our little one are what we are here for :) They are our ministry, not a distraction!
ReplyDeleteGosh, this scripture won't be leaving my mama heart for a very long time! I just keep thinking about it. They are our ministry and finding the balance of self-care, ministry, and home, and, and, and...really makes me be still and seek Him. Really just can't do it without Him!
DeleteLovely!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Molly! And thanks so much for stopping by my little space! Headed over to yours to see your new post :)
DeleteI love this! This vocation brings so much joy and at the same time it is the hardest thing I have ever been called to do. I continually pray for patience and with God all things can be done. I love this, thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh, Amanda, I so hear you. I am NOT a morning person. Yet, I get up at 5:15 most mornings to have the necessary quiet time, prayer time, computer time, make breakfast time, get dressed time that I so desperately need. Those mornings that I try to sleep in and skip the prayer times go from bad to worse to awful in no time flat. I started getting up early for Lent last year and it makes a huge difference to my day. Prayers for you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI'm late to reading but I love this! I'm like Ann-Marie, I get up around 5:30ish for the same reason. It's not easy by any means and I do often hit the snooze once or twice (especially when pregnant) but I know while I half doze that if I don't get up now, it'll affect the rest of the day for me. And then I thank God for coffee :) Even with that, though, it's still hard to welcome the rest of the family downstairs!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I think I need to read it over and over and over. Thank you for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gina! *I* definitely need to read this one over and over. Mornings are so hard for me!
DeleteThis is so beautiful! I love that scripture passage. I do rise before dawn daily. Almost always at 5:30, but I don't do it easily. I do it with the intention to take time to pray and just be before my littles get up, but I often get caught up in other silly stuff and don't prioritize the praying (like I wrote about in my last post!). But this. This is just what I needed to read. I need to read it frequently and remember these words and that scripture. I do fall into the "Wait" or "Give me a minute PLEASE" more often than I like to admit with my girls. Thank you for writing this.
ReplyDeleteAmy! Gosh, now that I took forever to respond! Thank you so much! I can't even fathom waking at 530. Both my boys have been good about sleeping till 8ish which has allowed me to be a slacker. But, I really do want to reconcile this. Praying for grace to wake sooner than later. You all have been so encouraging! And thank you so much for the share! It's great to have you here :)
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